Are you stuck trying to choose between planning a traditional wedding or having an adventure filled elopement? You’re not alone—and the truth is, it’s one of the most personal and emotional choices you’ll make as a couple. Maybe you’re dreaming of an adventurous, just-the-two-of-you day in the mountains… but you also can’t imagine not having your favorite people there to celebrate. So, how do you choose?
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to. More and more couples are ditching the either/or mindset and saying yes to both. Imagine exchanging vows privately somewhere stunning and then celebrating later with the people you love most. It’s meaningful, flexible, and lets you have the best of both worlds—deep connection and big celebration, quiet moments and wild dance floors.
So if you’re torn between the two—or wondering what each really offers—let’s break it down. Below, I’ll walk you through the pros and cons of both the elopement experience and the traditional wedding day, so you can see what aligns best with your values, vision, and vibe as a couple.
How to Decide Between a Wedding or Elopement
The Elopement Experience
Eloping doesn’t mean running off to Vegas in secret (unless that’s your vibe!). Today, elopements are all about choosing an intentional, deeply personal way to commit to one another—often in nature, with just the two of you or a handful of loved ones. It’s about stripping away the pressure and creating space for connection, adventure, and meaning.
Here’s what makes eloping such a powerful option—and a few things to consider as you weigh your options.
Pros:
- Deep connection: You get uninterrupted, meaningful time with your partner on one of the biggest days of your lives.
- Freedom and flexibility: No strict timeline, no production—just a day that unfolds naturally and authentically.
- Epic locations: You can say your vows on a mountaintop, in a forest, by a waterfall, or anywhere that makes you feel YOU.
- Lower stress: Fewer logistics, fewer expectations, and more space to breathe and be present.
- Budget-friendly (sometimes): Depending on what you plan, eloping can be more affordable than a traditional wedding.
Cons:
Perceived pressure: Some couples feel they have to justify their choice to others or deal with outside expectations.
Missing loved ones: It can be hard not having friends and family physically there to witness your vows.
Less traditional structure: If you’ve always dreamed of certain wedding rituals, you may need to creatively reimagine them for your day.
Elopements are specifically crafted for you and your partner to celebrate your love with intention (and a little bit of adventure). Maybe this means waking up to watch the sun peek out over the horizon together with a hot cup of coffee. Or hiking to your favorite mountain peak. How about trying something you’ve both never done before. Elopements are meant to be spent doing things that you’re both passionate about – hiking, biking, skiing, exploring new places, picnics on the beach, good food.
I believe that we grow closer to one another when we go through experiences together – exploring new territory, getting caught in bad weather, sitting side by side watching the waves crash on the shoreline. So on your wedding day, when you should be feeling as close to your partner as humanly possible, ditch the drama of a big traditional wedding that tends to stress SO many couples out and choose to share in an experience that you’ll remember forever.
The Wedding Experience
Weddings are one hell of a good time. There’s something undeniably special about gathering all your people in one place to witness and celebrate your love. A traditional wedding day often comes with joyful anticipation, meaningful moments with family, and memories you’ll share with a whole room full of guests. It’s a big day—and for many couples, it’s exactly what they’ve always dreamed of.
Here’s a closer look at what makes a traditional wedding so memorable, along with a few things to keep in mind.
Pros:
- Celebrating with loved ones: You’re surrounded by the support, joy, and energy of your closest friends and family.
- Shared memories: From walking down the aisle to toasting at dinner, you’ll create once-in-a-lifetime moments with the people who’ve shaped your life.
- Honoring tradition: If you’ve always envisioned the classic wedding moments—first dances, speeches, rituals—you get to have them all.
- Vendor support: With a traditional wedding team (planner, caterer, etc.), you’re often guided through the process step-by-step.
Cons:
- Higher stress levels: More people usually means more planning, more logistics, and more opportunities for things to go sideways.
- Less personal time: It’s easy to feel like the day flies by and you barely get time with your partner.
- Higher costs: The guest list can drive up the budget quickly—from food and drinks to rentals and favors.
- Expectations overload: Family opinions and wedding industry “shoulds” can sometimes drown out your true vision.
Why Choose? You Can Do Both!
Here’s the best-kept secret in wedding planning: you don’t have to pick just one. You can have the intimate, heart-filled elopement and the joyful, guest-filled celebration. In fact, combining both can give you the most complete and meaningful experience possible—deep connection and big celebration, on your own terms.
Whether you crave adventure, tradition, or a little of each, here are two beautiful ways to blend both experiences:
Elope First, Celebrate Later
Start with a quiet, private elopement—just the two of you (and maybe a photographer tagging along!). Soak up the peace, the adventure, the magic of being fully present with your partner. Then, later on—whether it’s the next day, a month later, or even on your anniversary—gather your people for a party! No pressure, no expectations, just a meaningful celebration of your love story.
Wedding First, Adventure Later
If having loved ones at your ceremony matters most to you, go all-in on your traditional wedding day—complete with vows, dances, and champagne toasts. Then, once the dust settles, slip back into your wedding attire and head into the mountains (or the desert, or the coast) for a post-wedding adventure session. It’s a fun and meaningful way to reconnect and capture that just-married feeling all over again.
Read More: How to Include Friends and Family in Your Elopement
How Angela and Charlie Celebrated with a Vermont Elopement followed by an Intimate Wedding in Colorado.
Angela and Charlie decided to travel from Texas to Vermont for their elopement at the Pitcher Inn. They exchanged their vows on a quiet wooded trail, accompanied by their dog, explored a nearby river and local dirt roads with beautiful mountain views.
A month later, they gathered their closest friends and family at the beautiful Hood Park Manor in Telluride, CO – a place that has become somewhat of a second home for the two of them – for a second celebration. View some of their gallery below.
