how to tell family you're eloping, bride with parents on elopement day

How To Tell Your Family You’re Eloping

Elopements have quickly become a popular wedding alternative due to their budget-friendly, intimate and opportunistic nature. Eloping allows the couple to truly focus on their love and union without stressing the many logistics that a wedding day or weekend entails. More recently, elopements have been redefined. They are no longer a quick stop at city hall. Nor are they necessarily "running away to get married." Inform your loved ones about your plans to elope, so they can feel included. You may be wondering how to tell your family you're eloping. You can still have them take part in the day in some way, shape or form. 

Sharing your decision to elope can feel intimidating, but it doesn't have to! Today we are sharing some tips to help make this conversation feel good for everyone involved.

Looking for more on how to elope? Check out The Ultimate Guide to Finding Your Dream Elopement Photographer and How Much Does An Elopement Cost?

How To Tell Your Family You're Eloping

Tell Your Family You're Eloping in Person in an Intimate Setting

Planning to elope is a big decision! How you tell your family you're eloping is also very important. Make sure you treat it this way by telling your family and loved ones in an intimate setting. Treating it like it's not a big deal will only backfire. Show your family how important this decision is to you by telling them in an equally important way.

Prepare for Their Surprise or Misconceptions

Eloping is becoming incredibly popular for many couples today, but it is important to understand that for older generations it was much less common and taboo. Eloping was often seen as a secretive way to "run away" and get married when a couple knew their parents wouldn't approve. Make sure you prepare for your family to have possible reservations about your decision. Make it clear why you are eloping right off the bat, so they can understand where you are coming from instead of being clouded by their misconceptions.

Give Family Time to Warm Up to the Idea of Eloping

An elopement may not be the type of wedding your family pictured or imagined for you. Just as you have your vision they may also have theirs. Give them some time to warm up to the idea of your elopement. If you share the important reasons why and how you still want them to be part of your day, they will hopefully understand and warm up to the idea.

Explain Your Wedding Day Vision

One way to help your family understand your choice to elope is to explain exactly what you want out of your wedding day. Your choice to elope may be based on the fact that you want a stress-free day that allows you to focus solely on you and your partner. You may also want an opportunity to enjoy this special time together without having all eyes on you. For some people, the thought of being the center of attention is not how they want to spend their big day. An elopement also gives you and your partner the opportunity to focus on the things that you love to do together. Eloping is also a big money saver! Maybe you don't have the money to spend on a big, fancy wedding or you want to spend it on a house or a trip instead. Sharing your vision with your family will help them understand why you are choosing to forego a larger wedding and why an elopement is the right decision for you.

Involve Your Family in Your Elopement

Involve your family in your elopement to get them on board. One reason your family may not respond well to an elopement is because they feel left out. Include them in your special day and they will feel appreciated. The flexibility of an elopement allows for plenty of opportunities to involve family and personalize it so it meets your needs. Have family help you pick out your attire for the day, whether that involves bedazzling hiking boots and gear or shopping for a beautiful flowy beach dress. They could also be involved by writing letters to read or creating a video that you can watch on your big day. You may even ask your family to join for the elopement as part of a small group of guests or to help officiate or photograph the day. These are all special ways to include your loved ones on your special day.

More Ways To Involve Your Family In Your Elopement:

  • FaceTime after you say your vows
  • Continue family traditions (wear or incorporate passed down traditions)
  • Get ready with family
  • Ask family for help planning your elopement
  • Ask them to host or attend an engagement party or send off dinner

Have a Large Party with Family After Your Elopement

Maybe you want the best of both worlds. Why can't you have your cake and eat it too, right? Enjoy an intimate elopement with your partner and then have a party after to celebrate with all your loved ones. Even if they aren't there for the actual ceremony, your family will be thrilled to celebrate your union amongst all your extended family and friends. Explain to your family that it is important for you to have the alone time together as you share your vows, but you still value celebrating with all the people you love. This way you can still enjoy dinner, speeches and dancing, while keeping your marriage sacred and private.

Get a Photographer To Capture Your Elopement Day

Hire a photographer to capture your day so you can share these photos with your friends and family. If you choose a bombass photographer (like me 😜), you'll get a sneak peek of photos within a day or two that you'll be able to share with family. This way they will feel included in the excitement you're feeling coming out of your day when it's still feeling fresh!

In the end, there are so many wonderful ways to share the exciting news of an elopement with your family. Eloping gives you the opportunity to truly make it your own. You can involve your family in so many different meaningful ways AND still have the wedding you've always dreamed of!

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me, Kate Seymour

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Adventure Elopements + Intimate Weddings

vermont, new england and the wild west